Good-Looking VS Good-Manner

yoolllooo i am back !! back to blogger after getting busy on tumblr for several months.. gotta say tumblr is much interactive than blogger but still i always in love with blogger.. no particular reason :P 
after deleting my previous blog because it was leaked around campus, got a problem with a jealous dude who printed out my blog and put it on campus board eventho he didnt put my name on it, i was super afraid ppl would knw my gay-ness so i deleted it , finally decided to make new account yesterday.. seems like blogging and tumblr-ing are the only friends i have to talk to nowadays and i don't feel afraid anymore for people to know who i really am .. idgaf ! :D 

on my way to Bandung now for a meeting with client, and during my travel from Jakarta to Bandung getting annoyed with the traffic :(

Good-Looking : perhaps this is a Thing that mostly gays seeking when they're looking for boyfriend.. i do agree.. who doesn't like good-looking men ? cut my dick off now if someone said i don't want good looking man..
that feeling when u looked at them .. the spark that come out when they're passing by.. the feeling of massive horny just by looking at their ... eyes .. lips .. legs .. bulge on the pants :P ... 

Good-Manner : maybe this is for those who really seek for the TRUE one.. but again .. not so many people want this .. Good-Look always beat Good-Manner.. :(( 

It got me thinking ... who i am ? A good-looking one ? or Good-Manner one ? ... obviously not Good-Looking one :) ... this is the feeling that disturbing my heart recently .. i hate being rejected because people always says i am not that Good-Looking guy that they're seek for .. who to blame ? no one .. u can't blame God .. this is how God created us , must be  something behind everything .. Good-Manner ? what if i didnt have good-manner too :( WHO THE HELL WANTS ME TO BE THEIR BOYFRIEND THEN ? #scream


considering my life as a little bit flat and boring now , i always thinking of having a REAL one would be super awesome .. feeling secure .. being loved .. being jealous eventho i dont really like this feeling :)) .. used to have one but everyth has its time to be over ...


feel like a complete loner now .. but who's gonna love me again .. as someone ever did to me .. i am a duck who isn't going to be a swan .. low-esteem of myself .. i don't think so , i speak the truth .. rejection proves it .. i can't faking myself only to please someone , maybe that's why i've been rejected so many times .. last time something called heart felt hurt was 4 months ago .. and now i am falling again , in love .. ready to suffer again .. love doesn't need to get avowal , i can love you i can like you , you can't sue me for that .. the only punishment u can give to me for loving and liking you is by NOT-LOVING-ME-BACK .. or give me the heaven.. be mine :P 


maybe should wait .. hours .. days .. years .. 


#nowplaying Bonnie Rait - I Can't Make You Love Me :''''(

To The World

People just don't get the clue
Whether I put it in white, black, or blue
Girls can’t stand the fact
They try to make me turn back
Tellin me about how they feel and what they do
But all I say is eww

I hate when older people throw the bible at me
As if I can’t pick one up and read
I’m not deaf nor blind
So please, don’t waste your time

Girls try their hardest to turn me straight
Askin me if they can take me on a date
I always tell them to go away
But they still mess with me anyway
Maybe the world will get it one day
I like boys because I’m Gay

20 years later and I bet I’ll be smiling
Probably living in a small house where the bills keep piling
Going to work and bicycling with the dog
Driving my Porsche through the thickest fog

I wish I’d be normal, like anyone else
But I would be in a group by myself
All because I live with someone who isn’t a girls
Though he always catches my eye

Just like a normal couple, laughing and playing
Wouldn’t eat meals before praying
You couldn’t tell the difference emotionally
But they always point the difference out eventually

I don’t care what the world thinks
It’s my life, even if it stinks
They can say how they feel
And I still wouldn’t make it a big deal
Because at the end of the day
I’m Gay

Lunatic Me

sometimes i am thinking i am stupid because everyday i am seeking and wishing for one love ..

wishing someone will come into my life and bring a glimpse of new light in my life ..

sometimes i am just tired being alone when i need a place to share .. 

sometimes i think it would be great if i had a hand to be held , shoulder to lean on , the warmth of a hug,peace of a whisper in my ear , protection..

i am dreaming too much … take me down to the LaLaLand , a place we both mean to be together